If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
