i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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