IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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