In America we eat man semen.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
