I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
