he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
