was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
