WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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