Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
