Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
