so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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