Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
