Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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