Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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