Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
