Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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