how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
