I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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