there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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