I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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