dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
