I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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