Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
