Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
