Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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