I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
