walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize