I don't usually arrange sex via text message
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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