Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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