are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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