I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
