Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
