i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
