i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
