we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
