you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
