He is such a slut. More and more my type.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
