You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
