this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
