I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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