Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
