Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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