The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
