You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
