I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize