After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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