i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
