I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
