It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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