My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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