we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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