this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
