I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
