I feel like I'm in dance class right now
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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