Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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