Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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