her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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