Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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