This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
