last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my shit smells like andre
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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