I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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