No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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