yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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