I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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