he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
