Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize