I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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