i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
