It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
