Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize