and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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