I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
