Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
