I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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